Happy New Year. But not really. Not everyone is happy about it. Of course, people will say it out of obligation and on every major network, there are videos of people kissing and counting down. What an absolutely pointless event.
I know that my blog is usually aimed at being entertaining and "funny," but I'm getting serious for a moment. There are a variety of reasons why this evening is terrible. For one thing, I am at work right now. Yep, I got scheduled to work the overnight shift (10:45pm to 8am) on New Years Eve. That sucks. But that is miniscule compared to other things.
I felt really good today. I made a list of resolutions. I was excited.
Tonight, I made a series of errors. Dire ones. Big surprise, right? Things were bad, and then in typical Cody fashion, I made them worse. Again and again, I am the cause of problems. Even worse is the fact that I am always the one with the "problems." Well enough!
I apologize for how vague I am being, but I don't like to give away too much information.
I was raised Lutheran. I was baptized. I went to church. I got confirmed. And then, I became an atheist. In high school (or perhaps middle school), science started to make so much sense to me, that I couldn't make sense of religion. For many years, I was completely solid in my atheism. In the last year, though, I started to get confused again. I decided I was agnostic. I didn't know what I believed and I was trying to figure it out. But then, right when I am at my most open to the idea of a higher power, I get a heaping spoonful of good old fashioned discrimination and intolerance. How can I believe in a faith or let myself settle into a church that claims to be open and welcoming when someone tells me that I've sinned and that I am "wrong." Basically telling me that everything is a lie UNLESS I believe. Well here's the thing. I can't force myself to believe something. I need to take time to find the answers. I'm not going to believe something because someone just tells me I need to. Bad logic there.
So yeah, I'm angry. And now I will try to find a point to this new year and form new resolutions. My old ones aren't gonna cut it.
So Happy New Year, everyone. F*ck.
Cody, faith is a mysterious thing. Lots of people will try to decide your faith for you, but then they are taking away from the definition of it, aren't they? Faith is believing in what you wish. The way these "people" are talking... I can understand why it would bother you. Don't let them decide your views for you.
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