Dodging Traffic

I live on one of the busiest streets on campus. If that isn't unfortunate enough, there is also no crosswalk or stop sign at the intersection I cross to get to class and back. So I feel like I am CONSTANTLY dodging traffic and I hate it!! It's like playing frogger. I stand on the corner and look back and forth 30 times while timing the distance of the cars as they careen towards me. And then I run.

And I know that as a pedestrian, I can't expect drivers to let me own the road and cross when I want. But as a pedestrian, I still get really irritated by traffic! Sometimes cars will stop and let me cross at the intersection, regardless of the lack of crosswalk. But I think that has only happened twice since I moved here in June.

So now I will sort of link this back to the reason why I brought up traffic in the first place. I am having an awful, awful day. Very sad. I didn't sleep last night and the only reason I didn't stay in bed all day today was because of my exam this morning. I don't want to get very detailed about why I feel this way. I will only say that something I care about a great deal has gone away. That's the hard truth, though. The things you care about most are the things that hurt you the most.

Anyhow. Today as I stood on the street corner looking back and forth, a part of me hoped that today I would get hit by one of those speeding cars. I don't know what I would expect to accomplish. Maybe just for a change or for something new to happen. Maybe I hoped to find something different in my life. Or maybe I just wanted to end it all right there.

I'm not suicidal and this isn't a cry for help. Just something to think about.

Cody M. Logeland