Last Night's Nightmare

I just woke up from a nightmare. I won't get too specific about what happened (it was kind of weird. Had a lot to do with getting lost in a fast food restaurant), but I will say that it related to my grandpa and his worsening dementia. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, but the nightmare I just had really brought the topic to the front of my mind. My grandparents are getting older. It is really starting to show in a dramatic and sudden way. This concerns me.

I don't know if I'm ready to deal with the death of close family members. The only real interaction I have had with death has been with pets, an aunt, my great-grandparents (I was young), and several classmates I didn't know very well. But I have always been really close with my direct grandparents and I get really...upset when I think about them dying. I think the worst part is that I know that when it starts, it won't stop. One will pass, and the rest will in quick succession. After that, I will be exposed to a steady rate of dying relatives. That tidy period of time (my first 20 years) have passed with very few people being old enough to pass away. It can't last forever. As I have grown older, so has everyone else.

I know that my grandparent's generation is winding down.

"Papa Wonnie"

(My sister and I could never pronounce "Rodney" when we were little.)

Well this has been a late-night rambling. Just had to get this whole nightmare thing out of the way. Back to bed. Good night!

Cody M. Logeland