I'm Not Dead...Yet

Hey, just an update to emphasize the fact that I am not dead. I still don't have internet at my new apartment because I just can't afford it.

And even if I could afford it, I wouldn't have been able to blog much because 'Reefer Madness' basically ate up my whole month. On the bright side, it was a wonderful show. We had great audiences and everyone loved it. And tonight was our last show!!

Another show completed. :)  I'm developing quite the resume.

Anyhow, I'm at work right now, so I better get off the computer and actually do some work.

Ciao for now,

Cody M. Logeland

Being Homeless

Today I learned that being homeless is a competitive market.

Nice boots. You liar.

Let me start by saying that early this week, I started watching the first season of NBC's hit show from 2006, 'Heroes.' Last night, I watched the penultimate episode of the season and I decided to save the finale for today.

Here is the scenario. I put the last disc of the season into my DVD player. I go to the kitchen. I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I sit down on the couch. I hit play. I take a bite of my sandwich. And what do I hear as the opening credits of 'Heroes' starts to appear on my screen?

I hear a dumpster slamming, followed by the noise of cans rolling down the alley behind my apartment building. Great.

I go to my window, and as expected, I see a man in a dirty red t-shirt with grime all over his face going through my dumpster. Steal my garbage? Shame on you. Steal my garbage while totally ruining the finale of season 1 of 'Heroes?' Shame on me. I couldn't allow this. So I put on my shoes and headed out the door.

As I approached the freeloader raiding my trash, I noticed an interesting trait. He only had one arm. With unwavering determination, I continued my patriotic march towards this garbage terrorist.

America.

What happens next totally changed my understanding of homelessness. I started by asking the gentlemen just what the hell he thought he was doing. He informed me (in broken homeless English) that he was stealing cans so he could buy coffee at McDonalds for 50 cents. At least I think that's what he said...

Connection with homelessness?

As I was about to make a citizens arrest and curb stomp this trespassing SOB, he started muttering to himself. I heard some mention of the urgency of his situation. So I laughed loudly. How could someone with no home and no place to be have a sense of urgency or purpose. And then, revelation. He told me that he had to get to the other side of town before "Hickory" got all the cans for the day.

Eureka! Being homeless isn't something to despise at all! It's just business! The market is controlled by McDonalds! Every day, each of the 500 homeless people of St. Cloud, MN race each other to get as many of the discarded soda cans as they can. They recycle the cans for a few pennies until they can afford to walk to McDonalds and buy cheap coffee!

I patted the man on the back and personally gave him a boost into my dumpster.

Happy diving, my new smelly friend.

You see, if we all just took a moment to learn their ways, the homeless and normal people of the world could co-exist.

-Cody M. Logeland

P.S. Just to clear up confusion, this entire blog is sarcastic. I hate the homeless. ;)

P.P.S. Still no internet. Just kickin' it at the library. :p

Are You Still Out There, World?

I still don't have internet. And you know what? All this time without the internet has really made me appreciate the internet. Lately, I have hardly spent any time at all on a computer. No mindless Facebook updates, no endless Wikipedia searches.

I love you, Wikipedia.

You might say that not having the internet has made me a better, more productive human being.

That being said, I want the f*cking internet back now!! I can't take it anymore! I never know what is going on in the world! If a favorite celebrity died, how would I hear about it? If a friend is throwing a party, how will I know about it? I am totally out of the loop on current events! It's SO FRUSTRATING!

Grrr... Anyway, rehearsals for Reefer Madness are going well. We are nearly done blocking the first act. I have got a lot of work to do on one of the dance numbers... Apparently, I am un-coordinated.

Who would've thought?

Also, I seem to get really sweaty when I dance. I've tried several things to remedy this. I won't go in to detail, but none of them have worked.

(These are not actual pictures of Reefer rehearsal. Just FYI.)

So here is some big news (and yes, this news is big to me when I live with no internet!). I finally re-arranged and re-alphabetized by DVD collection!! It is such a momentous event. It happens about twice a year and I have to say, nothing is better looking than a sharply maintained DVD collection.

Oh! And I am also excited about this... On June 19th (which isn't that far away!), Nintendo will be releasing "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" on the Nintendo 3DS portable gaming system!!!!!!!!!!! This is important for several reasons.

For one thing, I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and buy a Nintendo 3DS. I haven't owned a gameboy since I became uncool in early 2001. That's ten years, people.

Secondly, only in my wildest dreams would I ever be able to play "LOZ: Ocarina of Time" on a portable gaming device! You have no idea how many childhood car rides were spent wishing that I could be playing Zelda. WELL!! Apparently all of those useless years praying to the God of video games has payed off! I haven't played a video game in SUCH a long time. This will change... Verily it will be so.

Unfortunately, money is an important factor in this venture... Money which I don't have. In fact, I am currently living off of borrowed funds as it is. Not to mention the fact that I owe St. Cloud State University $600 by the end of the month... But after that is out of the way, nothing can stop me!!!!! Except for bills... Mountains and mountains of bills....

God, my life really sucks, I guess.

Well, I don't know when I will get the chance to blog next, so until then, adieu.

-Cody M. Logeland

Reefer Madness!

Well, as those of you who regularly read my blog know, I recently auditioned for a musical called 'Reefer Madness!'

"Oh so mad!"

 I figured I would finally unveil the results of that audition, especially since the first rehearsal is tomorrow. So without further ado, (drum-roll, please?) I got cast in the lead role!! You heard correctly. I will be appearing onstage in a live production of 'Reefer Madness' as The Lecturer!

"Do your children enjoy...jazz music?"

I was so excited when I got cast about a week and a half ago, that I went ahead and memorized my first monologue already. Gonna get a head start on this epic show.

In other news, I am almost completely moved into my new apartment. No pictures to upload, yet. Already, I like it way more than my old one. Still no internet, though. Hoping to remedy that soon...if fate and my wallet will allow.

Not much else going on. Just extremely tired. I think in my next post, I will detail my sudden rediscovery of video games. After 3 years of inactivity, I am starting to get hooked again...

Love,

Cody M. Logeland

New Apartment, No Internet

So yesterday I moved into my new apartment. And I have to say, it is preeeeeeeeeeety nice. I might even take a picture or two and put it up in the next post.

At any rate, I don't have internet yet, so I have been a little bit scarce online. In fact, right now I am at work. And don't panic, I am allowed to blog at work. I am allowed to blog, and watch Jersey Shore on cable. For hours. In fact, that is all that is really available. I am fist-pumping right now.

Like this, but less douchey.

When I am not fist-pumping at work, I like to eat snacks and write about my life online. So here we are.

3rd times the charm, Harold.

Here's a tasty little number. A few days after Harold Camping's failed rapture last Saturday, he finally made an appearance to apologize... Not because he was wrong about the rapture. Not because his propaganda caused people to blow their life savings on billboards announcing the end of the world. And not because people died. And people died. There are investigations into several questionable deaths occurring on or near the 21st. In fact, in one case a mother attempted to murder her two children to spare them the horrors of the end-times. She is now behind bars, thank god.

So gullible, she will now be in prison for the rest of her life.

No, Harold Camping apologized for miscalculating the rapture. The 21st was not meant to be a "physical" rapture, but a "spiritual" one. He then clarified that the world will still be ending on schedule in October of this year. So we have that to look forward to. Mark your calendars. October 21st, 2011. End of the world. Tell your friends.

All I can say is that the world better not really end, because I have a great idea for a Halloween costume this year. I'll give you a hint.

It's Dr. Strangelove.

Well that's all I really have right now. In my next post, I will finally reveal the results of my most recent audition; for Reefer Madness: The Musical!


Cody M. Logeland

P.S. In sad news, the actor who played Kenickie in the movie 'Grease' passed away yesterday.

Apocalypse Now? Err...

Well. It's rapture time. And as I sit here typing, a cool breeze is rushing through my window and the sun is peaking through the clouds. The birds are chirping and cars are driving by. So altogether, I'd say it has been a pretty good Judgement Day. I took a nap, watched a movie, ate some soup and washed a load of laundry.

Oh, and by the way. Jesus never came back. There haven't been any earthquakes where I am. And my girlfriend is still on earth.

I'm guessing that a certain group of people in the world right now are feeling pretty dumb. And I think a certain Reverend Harold Camping is feeling pretty embarrassed. Oh-and filthy rich, of course. As I suspected, he has not released any statements or made any appearance whatsoever since it came to light that he is a lying son of a bitch. I really hope that someone finds a way to bring this guy to justice for all the harm he has done.

Man of the Hour

Until then, though, we'll just have to be satisfied that he is now one of the most hated people in the world (especially since Osama is out of the picture).


Well, I have a show tonight and since the world doesn't appear to be ending, I should start getting ready for it.

Wishing you all a happy Apocalypse,

Cody M. Logeland

It's the End of the World as We Know It

Well, it is May 21st, 2011, and if you subscribe to the belief held by the cult of Mr. Harold Camping, today is Judgement Day. The Second Coming of Christ. The beginning of the end of the world.

Also, that is complete bullshit. Owing to a mathematical system that Camping MADE UP to find hidden numerical prophecies in the bible, he has deduced that the rapture will take place today at 6pm and that the world will end in October, but not before everyone who was left behind gets their fair share of burning horror.

Pictured: The Anti-Christ

The worst part about this maniac is that he has predicted the world's end before. And was wrong then too. Harold Camping is a founder and active leader of the Family Radio network, a Christian chain of radio stations that spew this kind of dribble to those gullible enough to believe it.

Throughout this year, just like in 1994, many devout followers of his "Family Radio Cult" have quit their jobs and devoted their entire life savings to warning others about the end of times and the return of Christ. So... What happens on May 22nd when everyone realizes that we are still here? Do they all get their money back?

And how did this evil man justify his blunder in 1994? Well it's simple. Mathematical error, folks. Sorry that you charged an entire trip to DisneyLand for a family of six to your credit card and maxed it out under the assumption that the world would end and your bill would be left to the bank. Now you have to spend the rest of your life giving all your money to Mickey Mouse. (And yes, that is a true story from '94.)

Now I spend part of my time as an atheist and part of my time as an agnostic, so I don't claim to be an authority on things religious. But my girlfriend is Catholic and has given me some information on the matter. Apparently, somewhere in the bible it says that no man, angel, or even Jesus himself will know the date of the rapture. Only the Father (God). So what makes Mr. Harold Camping qualified to make the call?

Put simply, he is not. In fact, it is my belief that if there is a heaven, hell, and God above, Harold Camping is the anti-christ.

And even if he isn't, he is certainly a wolf in sheep's clothing. This is exactly the kind of thing that is harmful to religion. If I thought I was disillusioned by it before, this is the type of man that convinces me further of my decision to remain secular.

That is all I have for now. I do have plans for today's rapture, though. I am gonna fill a mug with cran-raspberry juice and sit outside my apartment at 6pm. After NOTHING happens, I will go inside and write another blog about the stupidity of people.

So have a great last day on Earth! You've got about 11 and a half hours. ;)

Cody M. Logeland

On Stranger Tides

Last night, in a fit of spontaneity, I bought tickets for myself and my girlfriend to go see the midnight premiere of the fourth 'Pirates of the Caribbean' film.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides." In 3D. I walked into the theater with zero expectations. I, like many, assumed that the Pirates franchise had run its course with the already existing trilogy.

I was wrong.

It was amazing, it was funny, it was my favorite Pirates movie of them all, by far! I didn't think it was possible, but it surpassed even "Curse of the Black Pearl" in my opinion. It was just a great story and a very refreshing reboot of the series. Honestly, I was so happy that neither Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley reprised their roles. The story of Elizabeth and Will Turner had reached a very satisfying end in the trilogy and to recall them further, I think, would've hurt that ending.

And the introduction of new characters was a very welcome addition! With the irritating love triangle of Jack-Elizabeth-Will out of the way, we are left with the complex (and often hilarious) relationship between Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow and Penelope Cruz's Angelica.

The sparks fly. And so do the swords!

The casting of Ian McShane as Blackbeard was an act of pure genius. No one in the world could have possibly done a better job or left us with a more memorable interpretation of the character.

A Pirate no more.

Returning to the cast is Geoffrey Rush, who once again brings us his memorable performance as Captain Barbossa, this time not appearing as a villain (as in "Black Pearl") or a zombie (as in "Dead Man's Chest") or as a sidekick (as in "At World's End") but as a privateer in the King's Royal Navy. It is hilarious to see him in this new role which once again expands the scope of his character arc.

POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT?

There is also a slew of very funny and talented cameos. Keith Richards appears again as Captain Teague (Sparrow's dad), and Richard Griffiths (best known as Uncle Vernon in the HP series) is a parcel of comedic genius as King George II. Oh, and lest I forget... JUDI DENCH!!! Yes, Dame Judi Dench makes an appearance at the beginning of the film as a noblewoman who gets.... shall we say, 'wooed' by Jack Sparrow.

END of POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT

At any rate, the film was amazing. I sincerely hope that Pirates 5 is in the cards for the near future. I would definitely fork over yet another $25 to see a sequel.

 

Cody M. Logeland

Why I Couldn't Sleep Last Night

That's right, it is the long awaited explanation for why I was unable to sleep last night.

When I think of the top reasons why I've ever been unable to fall asleep in my 20 years of life, I find quite a variety of interesting choices. Perhaps it is the night before the first day of school. Especially that big leap into high school. Maybe I am having horrible nightmares because I accidentally watched Donnie Darko again on cable.

28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end. 

Sometimes I can't sleep because I am a hypochondriac and get convinced that I am either, A. Dying, or B. Suffering from Restless Leg Syndrome. At any rate, I have plenty of reasons why going to bed is a troubling experience.

But what of last night? What in the name of Jehovah was preventing me from passing out?

Well, first of all, thanks for asking. My social life has been kind of barren lately and I do enjoy answering questions.

And now I'll tell you. The number one reason why I might struggle to go to sleep? Auditions. Yes, auditions. The place where dreams go to die. You spend hours researching the musical or play and choosing a song or monologue and then you go meet a bunch of other people who all hate each other. The worst part is, everyone smiles and acts overly pleasant. But you know that at their core, they are judging you. Everyone is judging you. Everyone is comparing.

So I went to an audition on Tuesday night. The musical in question is 'Reefer Madness.'

Tell Your Children!

'Reefer Madness' is a hilarious musical satire of a 1936 American propaganda film about the "horror" and "danger" of marihuana. Did you notice how I put "horror" and "danger" in quotations? That is because I am trying to be sarcastic. Which is exactly what this musical is. Sarcastic.

Anyhow, last night I had a bit of intel that informed me that the director and creative staff were selecting the cast and planned to post the list tomorrow (which works out to be today if you do the math.).

And that's WHY I couldn't go to sleep last night. I was too antsy and excited. Instead, I sat at my giant computer screen and lamented about the bug that was crawling over it because of the bright lights.

To sum this up, the cast list WAS posted today and I DO know the results. But I would like to save that juicy information for another blog post. So you'll just have to wait. :D

Cody M. Logeland

P.S. By the way, I am finally sick of Lady Gaga. It finally happened! They told me it would... And it did.

AHHH!

Bug on my Screen

So... There's a bug on my screen. It seems that no matter how many times I flick the SOB off of my monitor, it always reappears a second later. Problem is, I know I can't kill it because it will make a mess on the glass. And nobody loves to polish a 27" screen.

Ooh, retro.

I take that back. I think there might be people in the world who LOVE to polish their 27" screen. And I'll tell you why. When I first started shopping for computers, I knew I needed something from Apple. Because no matter what anyone says, their machines are simply the best for handling media. And as a film-maker, media is something I happen to stumble upon more than anything else.

So I go to the website and start searching for the specifications I require-- By the way, I just killed the bug. I couldn't take it anymore-- and the computer that appeared on my screen? A glorious iMac, 2.66 GHz Intel Core i5 with 4 GBs of memory and a terabyte of storage.

Hmm... What does all that mean, you ask? Well you're asking the wrong person. Though I can be quite handy at certain computer related functions and troubleshoots, I am absolutely useless when it comes to technical information and specifications. I do all I can to avoid the actual insides of computers.

At any rate, I picked a good computer. The only hitch was that the actual monitor of the thing only came in 27 inches. Kinda big, I thought. But thinking a little deeper made me realize the benefits of having such a large screen for editing my videos. It was perfect. So I bought it.

My baby.

Yep. I finally had the perfect computer for me. I put it on my desk--and very quickly realized that it hardly fit on it. Oh well, it would all be worth it soon enough. And let me tell you, it has performed beautifully. Everything is great! Except...

When people walk into my room and see my computer, the first and most popular response they give me is some variation of the following... "Woah, haha, are you compensating for something?"

That's right, laugh it up. A man buys a big computer so that must mean he has a small penis. Well, I don't want to get into detail here, but I can say that the selection of my computer had very little to do with my genitals.

So there you have it. Now, some of you might wonder why there may have been a bug on my screen in the first place. Well, let me count the ways.

#1. It's really hot in my room, so I opened the window.
#2. I can't sleep, so I turned on my computer.
#3. It's the middle of the night.

That's all I really have for you at the moment. But stay tuned to my next post, in which I will inform you dear readers all about why I am unable to sleep right now! It will be a hoot! And I mean that non-sarcastically! Yay!


Yours,

Cody M. Logeland

Celebratory Overload

Hello, blog!

So... how about March and April, huh? Whew. Really went off the grid for awhile there. School got pretty busy so I had less time to check in. At any rate, I am back now and eager to resume all vital blog functions!


Guess what day it is today? Go ahead and guess!

...............

It's my sister's birthday! I bet you were thinking the correct answer was Mother's Day. Am I right? Well it's Mother's Day too, so you're not totally wrong. Just wrong in my eyes. Anyway, I have enough trouble remembering holidays without worrying about whether any of them will come on the same day. Kind of a bitch, really. Now I have to celebrate twice as much as I normally would've had to. And celebrating makes me tired.

What can I say, I'm a lazy bastard.

But WAIT! There's more!! My girlfriend is graduating from college today. And by today, I mean literally F*CKING today. And by that I mean that there is an entire commencement ceremony and (you guessed it) celebration.

What it all comes down to is that I will spend this entire day in a constant state of celebration. And I didn't sleep last night... This is gonna be a nightmare. Complete and total celebratory overload.

Now I'd like to take a moment to stop cursing the heavens and actually say a few positive things.

To my sister:

Happy birthday!!! I love you very much and I miss you more than I ever thought possible. We used to fight nonstop and for awhile, we hardly spoke at all. And now we're both adults... It is a weird feeling. I don't know if this means anything, but I am so proud of you.

To my mother:

Happy Mother's Day!! I love you as well and I miss you too. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not reminded that I am only where I am now thanks to you. You put up with me through the worst times and were always there for the good times too. I appreciate you so much.

To my girlfriend:

Happy graduation! I know how excited you have been to finally be done with college and it is finally here! You made it through and I always knew you could. :)  I love you very much and congratulations!


So that about sums up my thoughts. I am about to embark on a day of celebration, and though I may not see each of the most important women in my life today, I will certainly make up for it by seeing each one of them just as soon as I can. I love you all!

Elderly Couple in a Restaurant

Hello! Yes, it has been long since I have posted. Allow me to count the reasons...

As you may recall, I was cast in a production of The Glass Menagerie at SCSU. The performances were last week. And believe me, I was SO busy in the week leading up to the shows as well. So it was a busy two weeks and I hardly found the time for homework, let alone posting in my blog. But all that aside, it was a wonderful show and I consider it to be the best theatre experience of my life so far.

I've also been struggling with some stress in my personal life that has left me utterly exhausted. For awhile, my creativity had honestly run dry. Just plain ol' tired.

And lastly, I've been sick. It is so difficult to get motivated to write when I can't stop hacking and coughing.

But, here we are!! Once again, I sit at my keyboard, trying desperately to entertain.

So here is today's story... Yesterday I went to Olive Garden with some friends. As I looked across the restaurant, I saw an elderly couple receiving their food from a waiter. They began to eat. And that's about all they did. They ate and they ate. They didn't look at each other. They didn't utter a word. I caught myself staring at this geriatric couple. Suddenly, the old man spotted me and we had a moment of eye contact. It was very strange. I felt like he was trying to tell me something. Like he was warning me of the future. Almost like he was telling me not to make the same mistakes that he did. It was kind of sad, really. His eyes were empty and bitter.

At that moment I resolved not to ever let myself get to where he is in life. With whomever I end up marrying in my life, I want to be happy and stay happy. It's a new personal goal of mine. ;)

-Cody M. Logeland

To Stillwater!

I figured I'd finally write a post about my girlfriend. She is an awesome part of my life. Anyhow, she is also a student at St. Cloud State University. Her major is theatre, just like mine. The only difference is that she is graduating after this semester!

In fact, at this very moment she is on her way home from Chicago, where she spent the last three days auditioning for grad schools all across the country (and out of the country). It makes me a little sad that she will be moving away after the summer, but I also know how badly she wants this. So I really hope she gets accepted to a school.

Anyway, she will be arriving back at home at 2 a.m. The only problem is that she will be arriving in Stillwater, MN. She needs to be in St. Cloud. That is where I come in. Tonight (at about midnight) I will be starting the drive to Stillwater to pick her up.

So yeah, it'll be a late night drive and I won't get home until a ridiculous hour in the morning (and yes I have phy ed at 9am), but it will all be worth it to see her.

That's about all, for now. I realize this post isn't comedic or anything. It's more of an informative update. ;) I'm sorry if I wasted your time!

Cody M. Logeland

P.S. Very soon I will be choosing the recipient of my CSN gift code give-away! It's not too late to capture my attention and become a candidate for the prize! Right now "domesticdiva" is the frontrunner in this competition. She left me a very nice comment. ;)

1,000!!!

Well, at approximately 9:01pm on the 7th of February, 2011, my blog reached 1,000 views!!

Yay!!

To celebrate, I decided to try "Chat-roulette" for the first time.

It is by far the dumbest thing I've ever seen. People sit in front of their computers with stupid looks on their faces and cycle through millions of other people sitting in front of their computers with stupid looks on their faces. This made me violently uncomfortable. So I made up a character.

Creepy.

His name is Blake and he lives in Ohio. He speaks with a light southern accent mixed with some other random speech patterns. He disagrees strongly with masturbating online, which he told many people he met while surfing on chat-roulette. This is perhaps because most people on chat-roulette are masturbating. I may post a video later of Blake telling people off. 

So that's all for now!

Cody M. Logeland

Does This Make Me Girly?

So I've been working on cleaning my room. It's always been a bit of a giant effing mess. Someone told me once that I could be more productive in an organized environment, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Even though I've always felt more creative in a chaotic environment...

Anyhow, I moved a bunch of stuff out of the room that I don't use or need anymore and it opened up some interesting new possibilities. For one thing, I was finally able to arrange my picture frames nicely. Where an old clunky TV that I never watched used to sit is now a cool little cluster of family pictures.

Isn't that nice to look at?

I love my family. And scented candles are NOT girly. And even if they are, I have a lava lamp on the far left that balances it out. Yup. Nothing makes me feel manlier than switching on my lava lamp.

I also have wide open spaces on my floor now. It has made the grueling daily task of walking through my room a breeze! The reason this is possible is because I finally picked up the tangled horror web of cords that used to cover my carpet like a layer of vines. They are all neatly packed into a duffel bag. I even got to vacuum! 

In other, unrelated news, I found an envelope buried behind my desk. I opened it and it was $20 that someone had sent me from Christmas! Huzzah!! I love it when that happens. Surprise money is all the more welcome when you are simply out of money and are anticipating another week of starvation and self-neglect. Now I can go buy food and books and other such important college things. Learning is expensive.

I have decided to undertake a project. There is a competition film festival coming up that is run by the good people at the SCSU Computer Store. The first prize is $700. That sounds like money I should have. Anyhow, I looked at entries from past years in the competition and they kind of sucked. So I concluded that if I made a film and submitted it to this years competition, I would almost certainly win!! The only thing is...I need an idea. Something. Anything to put down as a screenplay so I can get to work. That is my task this week. To write a short 3-5 minute film. Any ideas? Let me know!

That's all for now!!

Cody M. Logeland

P.S. By the way, check out the post before this one! I am currently hosting a gift code give-away with the help of CSN Stores. If you're interested in winning this amazing prize, click "follow" on my blog page. You won't regret it!

Special Give-away!

Greetings, readers. I have some exciting news to infuse into my blog today. That Guy in a Sweater Vest is about to host its first "Gift Code Give-away!"

I was recently contacted by CSN Stores (which if you didn't already know is comprised of over 200 online stores!) and given the opportunity to host this give-away for my loyal readers. ;) The prize, you ask? A fabulous $15 gift code, valid at any of CSN's wonderful online stores! Just think of the endless possibilities! You can order anything from an Eames lounge chair to Le Creuset cookware! And let's be honest, when it comes to the Eames lounge chair, you just can't repel comfort of that magnitude.

One more thing, readers. You see, I get to pick the winner. So go ahead and click "follow" on my blog and let the sucking up commence! I want to see groveling! Leave a comment or shoot an email! Anything! Just make your presence known!

Good luck!

Cody M. Logeland

P.S. (CSN only ships to the U.S. and Canada)

Batman, Burgers, and Boners

Today (only a few hours ago, in fact) I went to a restaurant with my mom, my sister, my step-dad, and his son. It was a nonstop and hilarious string of  blunders. The offender?

Applebees in Elk River, MN

Yes, Applebees. It started right away when we were seated. We apparently didn't have a server. No one came. Finally, someone came over and introduced themself as the person who would be helping us because the person who was SUPPOSED to be helping us was nowhere to be found. My stepdad ordered an appetizer platter and asked for barbeque wings. Guess what came out? Buffalo wings. Which was actually a wonderful surprise for me, but still! Shame on Applebees for screwing up an order.

Anyhow, I ordered a bacon cheeseburger. It took a LONG time. When they finally brought it out, it was taken to the wrong table. After that little boner was sorted out, we could finally eat.

I'm sure some of you raised your eyebrows at my use of the word "boner." Allow me to clear up your confusion.

Boner may refer to:

• A blooper, a small mistake having an amusing effect
• A blunder, a spectacularly bad or embarrassing mistake
• An erection of the penis

I was clearly not referring to the third usage of the word. ;) 


Anyhow, the burger I received looked a lot different than the picture on the menu. Look.

Exhibit A

It was like a weird mis-shapen alien burger. It tasted normal, but it was still very unsettling.

Applebees kept the boners coming (lol) when they brought out a single breadstick for my mom when we were  just about done eating. They apologized for the stick's tardiness and resolved not to charge us for it. How lovely.

So to conclude, we were helped by no less than 5 or 6 unfamiliar faces. It was never the same person. They all seemed to be lost in the restaurant they worked in. And it was quite bad service overall.

I will leave you with something for your consideration.

Don't laugh at the Joker's boner.

Cody M. Logeland

The Glass Menagerie

As I said before, I am currently in rehearsals for a production of The Glass Menagerie at St. Cloud State. I am playing Tom Wingfield, which is the lead role. I'm very excited because it is technically my first lead part in...well anything.

The poster.

Rehearsals started out really well and the cast was great. I can honestly say I was having a blast. Unfortunately, there is a lot of negativity trying to ruin this show for me, but I am not going to let that happen. There are forces at work that I find very discouraging.

So besides the drama and my absolute distaste for some of the behavior I've witnessed, things are going extremely well with the show.

Which leads me to my next point. I was inspired by the script to start working on some side projects. Most notably, a musical version of The Glass Menagerie which I shall call "The Glass Menage!" I am already compiling a list of potential songs. Then I have to simply write the lyrics and come up with some melodies.

Then someone came to me with another splendid idea. A little strange, but I call it splendid as well. A pornographic film called "The Glass Menage a Trois!" I will spare your innocent ears the details and plot points of this most illustrious porn.

So that's where I'm at. I am going home to Princeton today to see my sister perform in a Cabaret show and to do some laundry. And of course to hang out with my mom, who I miss a lot.

Ciao!

Cody M. Logeland

Memorizing Lines

At this precise moment, I am sitting at work reading lines from the play I was cast in back in December. The play is Tennesse William's famous work, The Glass Menagerie. I play Tom Wingfield, which is the lead part in the show. Anyhow, as is my policy, I procrastinated hard-core. I had all of winter break to potentially be working on lines. I had all of the month of January while we were blocking scenes. But like a dumbass, I only memorized the first three scenes. On Monday, we are running Act I off book. Guess how many scenes I have left to memorize for Act I?

I'll tell you.

Three scenes. Three long, grueling, wordy scenes. Additionally, we are running Act II off book on Tuesday. That's two more lengthy scenes that I haven't even touched yet that need to be ready to go a mere day after we run Act I. This is scary. Luckily, I work at a place where I am required to stay awake all night doing nothing but monitoring my clients sleep. This leaves me with many, many hours to pace around memorizing. It doesn't make the job any easier, though.

In other news, yesterday evening was the SCSU film organization's big film festival. "Cinescope" hosted a roughly 3 hour event called Cinema Silence.

?

It was an okay time. I guess my only complaint was that almost all of the film entries were highly experimental and expressionist pieces of art. A few of them here and there would have been fine, but the entire show ended up being very alternative. I will admit it was a little exhausting to watch. The film I submitted (which was created in the Spring of last year) was the only one that I considered to be classically entertaining. Entitled Don't Vote For Chris, it featured simple, easy comedy. It was definitely a crowd pleaser, especially after the monotony of so many dry, confusing films.

The finale of the evening featured the premiere of Cinescope's newest production, Cinemapocalypse. I was very excited to see this film, as I had auditioned, been cast, and performed in it. It was very funny! All around it was a good night.

Anyways, I have to go memorize lines like a frickin maniac now.

Cody M. Logeland

Hiatus and a Trip to Minneapolis

Hello. Like me, you've probably noticed that I haven't posted for awhile. Why, you ask? I have been ultimately way too busy to be funny. It's very possible. It happens all the time. Even now, as I type I am feeling bitterly unfunny. But there is nothing worse than not trying.

So here goes. :D

I am now going to explain why, in my most recent blogs, I was lamenting my financial situation. Two weeks ago, my girlfriend and I decided that we needed to get out of St. Cloud. We had been intending to go on a mini-vacation sometime for my birthday, so we decided to just do it. Because I had so much extra money from the holidays, I paid for most of the trip. And let me tell you, we spared no expense.

First of all, I booked a room at the Foshay. Oh, you've never been? Haha, just kidding. I'm not an ass. But seriously, have you ever been there? Here's a picture.

Yes, the fabulous Foshay Tower, home of W Minneapolis (a 4 star hotel). Being a history nut, I totally researched the hell out of it before the trip. It was constructed and completed in 1929. Wilbur Foshay, a high rolling businessman had the building built for offices and intended for his office and personal apartment to be stationed near the top of the tower.

Wilbur "Douchebag" Foshay

It was designed to be a memorial to the Washington memorial. Which is a little convoluted in my own opinion. Anyways, when it opened there was a huge party. There were half naked women everywhere. No lie. Wilbur even commissioned John Philip Sousa to compose and perform a march at the event.

Remember? He composed "Stars and Stripes Forever." Kind of a big deal.

So anyways, it was an awesome party. But guess what happened three months later? Know your U.S. history? The stock market crashed. Wilbur Foshay hadn't even moved in to his fabulous new apartment yet. All of his assets were seized and he was exposed as a crook who had been running a pyramid scheme the whole time (which is why I called him a douchebag earlier). The check he wrote John Philip Sousa for $20,000 bounced and Sousa forbade the march to ever be played again until he got his money.

Fun fact: The march was prohibited all the way to 1988, when a group of Minnesotan investors finally paid Sousa's estate the $20,000 he was owed.

Anyways, Foshay lost it all. And now there was just a huge ass (for the time) skyscraper sitting in the middle of Minneapolis. It was beautiful, unique, and full of art-deco goodness. Until the mid-seventies, it was the tallest thing on the horizon in our majestic Twin Cities. Over time, the tower fulfilled a variety of uses. Finally, in 2008, it opened as the hotel it is today.

And what a hotel it is. It is a strange hybrid of old-timey class, and Vegas glitz. Look at some pictures.

The lobby.

The front desk. (The lady who was there was a bitch.)

So there you have it. And then there was the room... It didn't take long for my girlfriend and I to realize that it was essentially a sex room. By extension, I guess it is a sex hotel. It was (as my girlfriend puts it) ricockulous. Huge bed, purple lights, and a frosted glass wall between the bedroom and the shower. So privacy? Not so much. But is that a bad thing? Quite a conundrum.

Giant bed.

The revealing shower.

So that's enough about the hotel. We also went to a show at the Guthrie Theater. My first time going there, much to the dismay of my girlfriend. I was pleasantly surprised by a very entertaining production of Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors."

The Guthrie. Great architecture. 

In the morning, we had an expensive breakfast at the Foshay's in-house restaurant, Manny's Steakhouse. Yes, Manny's, the Star Tribune's 2008 Restaurant of the Year. It was SO expensive and SO worth it.

See that fruit bowl on the left? That is an $8 bowl of fruit.

That night, we had a romantic dinner at Chino Latinos. Another great restaurant in the cities. They advertise their menu featuring "Street Food from the Hot Zones." It was interesting. Everything we ordered was very unique and very delicious. My girlfriend and I joked about doing a fake marriage proposal in the middle of the restaurant. Naturally, I chickened out. :)

So that was my date weekend. It was very plush, very fun, very relaxing, and very expensive. In fact, the wonderful happy feeling stayed with me for a full week before wearing off due to the stress of college life. It was such a great break from the daily grind. However, it also explains why I was so broke for awhile there.

I'm fine now. I've got a nice paycheck in the bank and I am back on the rise. In conclusion, I love the cities, I love being treated like I'm rich, and I love my girlfriend.

More to come,

Cody M. Logeland