Batman, Burgers, and Boners

Today (only a few hours ago, in fact) I went to a restaurant with my mom, my sister, my step-dad, and his son. It was a nonstop and hilarious string of  blunders. The offender?

Applebees in Elk River, MN

Yes, Applebees. It started right away when we were seated. We apparently didn't have a server. No one came. Finally, someone came over and introduced themself as the person who would be helping us because the person who was SUPPOSED to be helping us was nowhere to be found. My stepdad ordered an appetizer platter and asked for barbeque wings. Guess what came out? Buffalo wings. Which was actually a wonderful surprise for me, but still! Shame on Applebees for screwing up an order.

Anyhow, I ordered a bacon cheeseburger. It took a LONG time. When they finally brought it out, it was taken to the wrong table. After that little boner was sorted out, we could finally eat.

I'm sure some of you raised your eyebrows at my use of the word "boner." Allow me to clear up your confusion.

Boner may refer to:

• A blooper, a small mistake having an amusing effect
• A blunder, a spectacularly bad or embarrassing mistake
• An erection of the penis

I was clearly not referring to the third usage of the word. ;) 


Anyhow, the burger I received looked a lot different than the picture on the menu. Look.

Exhibit A

It was like a weird mis-shapen alien burger. It tasted normal, but it was still very unsettling.

Applebees kept the boners coming (lol) when they brought out a single breadstick for my mom when we were  just about done eating. They apologized for the stick's tardiness and resolved not to charge us for it. How lovely.

So to conclude, we were helped by no less than 5 or 6 unfamiliar faces. It was never the same person. They all seemed to be lost in the restaurant they worked in. And it was quite bad service overall.

I will leave you with something for your consideration.

Don't laugh at the Joker's boner.

Cody M. Logeland