Happy New Year. Not.

Happy New Year. But not really. Not everyone is happy about it. Of course, people will say it out of obligation and on every major network, there are videos of people kissing and counting down. What an absolutely pointless event.

I know that my blog is usually aimed at being entertaining and "funny," but I'm getting serious for a moment. There are a variety of reasons why this evening is terrible. For one thing, I am at work right now. Yep, I got scheduled to work the overnight shift (10:45pm to 8am) on New Years Eve. That sucks. But that is miniscule compared to other things.

I felt really good today. I made a list of resolutions. I was excited.

Tonight, I made a series of errors. Dire ones. Big surprise, right? Things were bad, and then in typical Cody fashion, I made them worse. Again and again, I am the cause of problems. Even worse is the fact that I am always the one with the "problems." Well enough!

I apologize for how vague I am being, but I don't like to give away too much information.

I was raised Lutheran. I was baptized. I went to church. I got confirmed. And then, I became an atheist. In high school (or perhaps middle school), science started to make so much sense to me, that I couldn't make sense of religion. For many years, I was completely solid in my atheism. In the last year, though, I started to get confused again. I decided I was agnostic. I didn't know what I believed and I was trying to figure it out. But then, right when I am at my most open to the idea of a higher power, I get a heaping spoonful of good old fashioned discrimination and intolerance. How can I believe in a faith or let myself settle into a church that claims to be open and welcoming when someone tells me that I've sinned and that I am "wrong." Basically telling me that everything is a lie UNLESS I believe. Well here's the thing. I can't force myself to believe something. I need to take time to find the answers. I'm not going to believe something because someone just tells me I need to. Bad logic there.

So yeah, I'm angry. And now I will try to find a point to this new year and form new resolutions. My old ones aren't gonna cut it.

So Happy New Year, everyone. F*ck.

Holiday Ramblings: Or An Adult Man in Footie Pajamas, Stupid Traditions, Meat Wrapped in Other Kinds of Meat, and a Very Long Drive to a Neighboring State

Well, I haven't had time to blog since before Christmas, so naturally I have a lot of pent up blogging ready to burst out of me. I'd like to start with this.

A full grown adult man in footie pajamas.

You can't un-see that. Anyhow, let's get straight to business. I had a pretty great Christmas. As expected, upon arriving at Gramma Eda's on the 24th, my senses were bombarded with all things Norwegian. Not in a bad way. I happen to be one who delights in all manifestations of the term "Scandinavian." To my surprise at dinner, I was offered wine, which I guess implies that 20 is the age that my family begins the slow descent into alcoholism. Haha, just kidding. We aren't alcoholics. That I know of. But I got wine!

I was, however, not offered the annual serving of Norwegian aquavit. For all of my 20 years, I have sat at the table every year at Christmas and watched the adults reluctantly raise their tiny aquavit glasses, say "Skoal," and then drink. What follows can best be described by pained facial expressions, heavy breathing, and clutching of throats and stomachs. Which really begs the question, if it is such a bad experience, why drink it? Well I will tell you why. It is tradition. And some traditions, no matter how stupid, must be upheld.

Sweet, burning tradition.

In fact, the very creation of aquavit carries with it a very stupid tradition. First of all, you should know that it is an 83 proof alcoholic beverage. It is distilled and fermented in oak casks that are placed on "Linje" ships. These ships then go out onto the ocean and cross the Earth's equator twice. Why? Because apparently it is necessary for the aquavit to experience the rocking of the ocean waves and the particular temperature changes. This causes the spirit to extract more flavour from the casks.

See what I mean? Ridiculous traditions. And this segues nicely into yet another tradition. That of lutefisk. Legend has it that lutefisk originated when some Norwegian guy accidentally dropped his cod into a bucket of lye. I don't know if there is any truth to that legend, but the concept is there. Lutefisk is cod that has been soaked in lye. Which is essentially dangerous to humans. Anyhow, in the lye it loses 50 percent of it's protein, which results in it's jelly like consistency. Above all things, most people dislike lutefisk because of its consistency. 

Mmmm. Appetizing, no?

In all seriousness, I do enjoy lutefisk personally. :) Just add a little melted butter and throw in a meatball or two. Maybe some lefse... Yum.

Following dinner, the family took part in another tradition. Gift giving on a massive scale. The economy may have us all cutting corners, but one thing that the Logelands will NEVER cut is Christmas gift-giving. We certainly do our part for commercialism.

No shame.

I got all kinds of interesting things. Among the usual gift cards, I received a 2011 calendar (or two), a book by David Sedaris (my favorite), a new sweatervest (how appropriate), adult footie pajamas (comfortable, I don't care what you think), and more of my favorite pens!! I got other stuff too, but I will spare the reader.

My sister and I spent the morning of the 25th at Mama Mary's house (our other gramma). We had a big brunch and I was able to visit with family for awhile before heading back home to St. Cloud. I had to work the afternoon shift. Kind of sucks to work on Christmas, but someone had to do it and I got paid well.

Gavle Christmas Goat 2006,  Sweden

I also have to take a moment to describe a new tradition this year. I was invited to go to my first ever "Julbocken" celebration. There is a lot of history behind this. In Sweden, around Christmas time, it has long been the tradition to create yule goat figures out of straw. In 1966, some badass guy decided to build a giant Swedish yule goat and put it in the square. So he did. However, at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve, somebody lit the thing on fire and it went down in flames. Every year since then, a giant goat has been constructed in Sweden, and every year (as tradition mandates) it has been torched by vandals on or before New Years. 

So anyways, some friends of mine in St. Cloud had an annual Julbocken get together on the 28th. The city wouldn't grant them permission to build and burn down a straw goat, so they did the next best thing. Cooked a whole bunch of meat and got drunk.

Take a good hard look.

What you see before you is a pork tenderloin stuffed with italian sausage, which was then wrapped in bacon, then covered in steak surrounded with more bacon. :D Here's a bigger picture. Enjoy.

Heart attack.

Altogether, it was a great party. I loved it. I had a few beers, and a few slabs of awesome, epic meat. 

So I was feeling a little tipsy when my girlfriend came to me with a proposition. She wanted us to leave right then and there to drive all the way to South Dakota to pick up her sister and bring her back to St. Cloud. I was feeling a little adventurous and a tad spontaneous, so I said yes.

We went to Vermillion. Not pictured, but it is in the southern tip.

So guess what. We effing drove to South Dakota. We got there in 4 hours. It was like 2:30 am. I had a great time. Lots of fun.

But then came the ride back... Because morning traffic was starting up, the drive was 5 and a half hours. And I took it upon myself to drive the whole way without switching out. I let the girls sleep. I was SO on edge when we finally got home. It was 8:30am and I couldn't handle life at that point. So while it was a good experience, it sort of brought some trouble my way.

I have some personal problems (who doesn't) that I had been sort of ignoring and they were all brought to the surface. I had some big fights with the girlfriend, but now that I've acknowledged the issues I can start working on them. And as usual, she is nothing but helpful. I'm pretty lucky, you know.

So that's the update. Hopefully in the future, I won't wait so long to blog about important issues and they won't pile up as they so clearly did.

Cody M. Logeland

The Gift of $3 Pens

It's officially Christmas Eve now, which I find to be exciting. Every year, I have a plethora of Christmas celebrations because my family is more divided than Korea.

Wave to North Korea, kids.

Mere hours ago, I had X-mas at mom's house. It is always a small event with just gifts between my mom, my sister, myself, her husband, and his kids. Now, later today, I have Christmas Eve at Gramma Eda's. Tradition, folks. We'll get there in the afternoon, have a giant meal, and do more gifts. Then we spend the night there. In the morning, we drive the 10 blocks to Gramma Mary's house for Christmas Day. Again, large portions of holiday food. This tends to result in holiday indigestion and a lot of holiday pain.

Holiday antacids.

Finally (I hope), there is one more celebration on the 26th, that of my step-dad's family. I may not attend that one this year as I have to work on the night of the 25th (lame, but I get paid a lot). So that is my Christmas schedule projection.

I got a little bit ahead of myself, though. What I really want to talk about is one of the gifts I opened tonight. As you may or may not know, I recently posted a blog lamenting the fact that I ran out of my favorite pen brand and could no longer afford to sustain a lifestyle of fine writing. I had fallen from grace and started using hideous Bic pens (I just threw up in my mouth). Well, no more! My problems have been solved due to a generous gift of my favorite $3 pens!

A tear-jerking sight.

Apparently my sister reads my blog and now I really WILL have a merry Christmas! And oh how beautiful the scrawl will look on all the thank-you notes I send out after the holidays! The only thing that could make me more joyful at this moment is, well...perhaps a kitten!

Way ahead of you.

Cody M. Logeland

That Bastard with the Reindeer (Also, I'm 20 Now)

Well, I guess I'm 20. No big surprise, I suppose, based on the title of this post. I can't believe 20 years have gone by. It's amazing. But that's not really why I decided to blog today. Look.

Sexy.

I've been enjoying this extremely attractive and expensive shirt that my girlfriend bought me for my birthday. It's currently the best shirt I own. It's also probably the best shirt I've EVER owned. Ever. It looks great. It feels amazing. Is that weird to say? Oh well, because it's true.

I'd also like to take a moment to bitch about something. There are people in this country who, like me, were born ridiculously close to Christmas. Every year, we suffer in silence as our birthdays are belittled, or worse, ignored in the face of the impending "holiday" season. This is unacceptable. We are people too.

This is the evil man responsible for ruining my birthday.

So this year, take a moment to remember your friends who were royally screwed over by their parents and 

Santa Claus. That is all.

In all seriousness, though, this day is off to a great start. Had an amazing birthday breakfast in Stillwater with my girlfriend and her dad, and now I'm at my moms for more celebration. I'm not a teenager anymore. Take me seriously now, please!? Haha!

Cody M. Logeland

A Blizzard, Red Lobster, and 55 DVDs

Christmas is fast approaching and I am totally unprepared for that. It really came fast. With my busy schedule and how hectic everything was leading up to finals week, it sort of just crept up. I find that a lot of deadlines are quickly approaching. First of all, I have to burn 55 DVDs of a concert from March that I promised to do a LONG time ago. That is due on Wednesday. That's tomorrow, people! I am really running out of time and that is a LOT of discs to process.

Also, with less than a week to Christmas, I have yet to procure or finish my gifts for people. This is bad. I will really have to buckle down on that.

In other news, there was a blizzard today and my friend and I decided to go on a leisurely gentlemen's stroll.

Dapper.

I can't really think of anything funny to say right now. Just too busy.

At any rate, it was a good day. My girlfriend and I went out to dinner to celebrate our 5 months together. Mmmmm. Red Lobster.

Yours,

Cody M. Logeland

A Wonderful Surprise

Well today started out pretty normally. I got done with work at 8AM (I work the over-night shift!) and went home. I crawled into bed with my girlfriend and had every intention of crashing and sleeping most of the day. Which I did. Glorious. At about 4PM, I finally woke up and started watching Kitchen Nightmares with Chef Gordon Ramsey--

Love this show.

--when I got a phone call. It was my girlfriend who had been at work all day. We didn't talk long. All she said was that I needed to put on my green shirt that she likes and wait for her to show up in 15 minutes. When she knocked on the door, I was to close my eyes and follow her every instruction. Scary, right?

So I quickly showered and got all ready for whatever the hell was about to happen. When she knocked, I shut my eyes and opened the door. The first thing she did was tie a blindfold on my face. Shit was getting real. The last time I had been blindfolded was about a year and a half ago when some friends from high school had ambushed me when I was taking out the trash. They attacked me, put a pillow case on my head, zip-tied my arms, and threw me in the back seat of a car. Then they drove me out to the middle of nowhere and pushed me into a ditch. Keep in mind that the whole time this was happening, I didn't know that the kidnappers were my friends.

I'd like to think they did this out of love...

Anyways, not being privy to this, I panicked. I managed to get the zip ties off my hands, remove the pillow-case, and began to run through the woods. I knew where I was (roughly) and just ran towards home. I wasn't going to give my assailants a chance to come back and finish me off. I went into Rambo mode.

This was me.

I was wearing my work uniform still from earlier that day, and put my tie around my forehead. It was all about survival at that point. As I ran between trees and jumped over shrubs, I could see their car driving down the road. They were looking for me. I made it home and locked the door.

Only when I got home did my mom admit to me that she was in on it the whole time. They were going to fake kidnap me, and leave me in the ditch for awhile before coming back to get me and have a laugh. They weren't counting on me to be an awesome survivalist. No one ever does...

I got a little off topic there. So my girlfriend led me outside--blindfolded--and got me into my car. We drove for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, we stopped and she led me into a building. For a minute, I thought we were at a church because soft Christmas music was playing. I wondered to myself..."Why would she blindfold me to get me to go to church with her? So I don't put up a fight?" She led me through a noisy room and finally, I was allowed to open my eyes. We were at a restaurant and some of our friends were there!

LaCasita Restaurant of St. Cloud, MN

They had planned a surprise birthday dinner for me. My actual birthday is December 23rd, but as you can imagine, it is tough to celebrate a birthday that close to Christmas. Everyone always leaves town to go home and see their relatives. So I was totally stoked to be having this surprise dinner on the 18th of December instead. I got some great cards and gifts and the food was wonderful! It was a fun time and it really lifted my spirits. 

I am lucky to have such fantastic people in my life!

Cody M. Logeland

That's a $3 Pen

Well, I just finished my last final exam of Fall semester 2010. Whew. Also, my 48 hour extreme depression has finally subsided. Believe me, it was a bad one. I didn't leave my bed at all. Unless I really needed to.

Anyways, with all of that out of the way, I'd like to talk about the economy. Yuck. Well, luckily for you I am only going to talk about the economy in relation to how it's affecting me. I love my job. That being said, I only make just barely enough every two weeks to pay my bills and maybe buy a bag of chips.

These chips. Mmmm.

So this morning (in preparation for a meeting and my final exam), I was looking through my pen mug--

Yes, pen mug. People have them.

--when I realized that I was completely out of my favorite pen brand!! This was not good. This particular brand of pen was something I had grown so accustomed to, it was like a part of me. I would even be recognized by my pen. The way it wrote so smoothly... People would see things that I had written and say, "Yes. Cody wrote that." When someone would ask to borrow a pen, they could count on me to hand them this exact pen. The Uni-Ball Signo.

That's a $3 pen.

Complete with fine gel ink and an ergonomic rubber grip, this is God's gift to man. As far as pens go. It even advertises that it helps eliminate check fraud. Go ahead and try to wash the ink out of my checks. It won't work. You bastard. This pen has become a staple (pun intended) in my everyday life.

Unfortunately, I am all out of them. The ink has run dry. And because of the economy, I can no longer afford to buy $3 pens. So... I guess this is the end of an era. And the beginning of a cheaper, and less finely written one.

This pen sucks, you guys.

Cody M. Logeland

Dodging Traffic

I live on one of the busiest streets on campus. If that isn't unfortunate enough, there is also no crosswalk or stop sign at the intersection I cross to get to class and back. So I feel like I am CONSTANTLY dodging traffic and I hate it!! It's like playing frogger. I stand on the corner and look back and forth 30 times while timing the distance of the cars as they careen towards me. And then I run.

And I know that as a pedestrian, I can't expect drivers to let me own the road and cross when I want. But as a pedestrian, I still get really irritated by traffic! Sometimes cars will stop and let me cross at the intersection, regardless of the lack of crosswalk. But I think that has only happened twice since I moved here in June.

So now I will sort of link this back to the reason why I brought up traffic in the first place. I am having an awful, awful day. Very sad. I didn't sleep last night and the only reason I didn't stay in bed all day today was because of my exam this morning. I don't want to get very detailed about why I feel this way. I will only say that something I care about a great deal has gone away. That's the hard truth, though. The things you care about most are the things that hurt you the most.

Anyhow. Today as I stood on the street corner looking back and forth, a part of me hoped that today I would get hit by one of those speeding cars. I don't know what I would expect to accomplish. Maybe just for a change or for something new to happen. Maybe I hoped to find something different in my life. Or maybe I just wanted to end it all right there.

I'm not suicidal and this isn't a cry for help. Just something to think about.

Cody M. Logeland

The Sims 3 and Pasta

Well, finals week is just over halfway done. I have been telling myself for the past 6 and a half hours that I really need to start studying for my exam tomorrow morning. But guess what I have been doing instead?

That's right. I've been playing the Sims 3. Isn't it sad that we play video games where the only goal is to live your life? Shouldn't we just go out and live our real lives? Well...I guess I play it to escape from my life and live somebody else's. Someone who lives in a really nice house with a hot wife and a great career. These are all things I do not have.

Speaking of things I don't have, my cupboards are getting kind of empty. I concluded today that all I have left in the way of food is pasta. In the absence of everything else, I actually have a surplus of pasta. More than I know what to do with. Of all kinds. So lately, whenever I get peckish, I usually end up eating pasta. The thing I always forget is that a little bit of pasta goes a long way. So for the umpteenth time, I put way too much in the pot and then I end up with a bowl that looks like this:

That's a lot of pasta.

Don't worry, though. I ate it all. I forget to moderate my consumption when I am all wrapped up in what my Sims are doing. No wonder I have so much trouble sticking to my diet!

If I had to pick a color to describe today, it would be the color of blue. I just feel a little blue. To quote one of my favorite musicals, "I'm feeling a little blue myself. You know, a little anxious for no particular reason. A little sad that I should feel anxious at this age. You know, a little self-consious anxiety resulting in non-specific sadness. A state that I call 'blue.'" And for those of you keeping track, that musical would be?.... That's right, The Drowsy Chaperone.

Now I fear I must turn my attention to studying for my final exam. It is not a typical exam, of course. It is an acting class, so I need to memorize a scene from a play and two monologues, write an analysis for each of them, and then perform them in front of my professor and the rest of the class in the AM.

GROAN.

Cody M. Logeland

Last Night's Nightmare

I just woke up from a nightmare. I won't get too specific about what happened (it was kind of weird. Had a lot to do with getting lost in a fast food restaurant), but I will say that it related to my grandpa and his worsening dementia. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, but the nightmare I just had really brought the topic to the front of my mind. My grandparents are getting older. It is really starting to show in a dramatic and sudden way. This concerns me.

I don't know if I'm ready to deal with the death of close family members. The only real interaction I have had with death has been with pets, an aunt, my great-grandparents (I was young), and several classmates I didn't know very well. But I have always been really close with my direct grandparents and I get really...upset when I think about them dying. I think the worst part is that I know that when it starts, it won't stop. One will pass, and the rest will in quick succession. After that, I will be exposed to a steady rate of dying relatives. That tidy period of time (my first 20 years) have passed with very few people being old enough to pass away. It can't last forever. As I have grown older, so has everyone else.

I know that my grandparent's generation is winding down.

"Papa Wonnie"

(My sister and I could never pronounce "Rodney" when we were little.)

Well this has been a late-night rambling. Just had to get this whole nightmare thing out of the way. Back to bed. Good night!

Cody M. Logeland

WoW is Calling my Name

Back in high school (and for a few months last year) I used to play a lot of World of Warcraft. You know what that is, right? It is an MMORPG. Don't know what that means either? It means Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (Cue medieval fanfare). Huzzah! Just kidding. I may be a nerd, but even I have boundaries.

But seriously, World of Warcraft is a very entertaining and very well-made MMORPG. It is also dangerously addicting. Well I haven't played in a very long time and had no desire to resume. Until... Gah! Blizzard released a new expansion for the game last week and now- I MUST PLAY IT. How can I say no to the opportunity to return to the land of Azeroth to get my Level 80 Human Ice Mage to level 85!!? (Again, and I staunchly believe this, I am NOT that nerdy.) There is SO much new content!

Here's the problem, though. I am a college student. Now surely you know what that means. Say it with me. "I. Am. Broke." Seriously, all my money goes to my electric bill, my credit card bill, and my speeding tickets. (I have been REALLY unlucky lately.) Also, I took my girlfriend on a very expensive date last week... And if I hadn't... Well I would be playing World of Warcraft right now... BUT I CAN'T THINK LIKE THAT! We had a great time together and I love her very much.

Anyways, I am looking forward to this Friday. I will get a shiny new paycheck. Half of it will go towards my bills and other grown-up stuff that I still don't totally comprehend. And the rest of it... Will go to World of Warcraft!!! It isn't cheap, you know. The expansion itself is like $50 and that doesn't include the monthly fee of $15 just to play the game.

I hate spending money. C'est la vie...

Cody M. Logeland

First Entry & Explanation

Hello.

So I guess every blog has to start with that awkward first post. Here it is. Awkward, right?

Anyhow, it is the 15th of December, 2010 and that means that it is the dreaded Finals Week at St. Cloud State University. Stress runs high and everyone seems to be running around with their face in a book or laptop. An hour ago, I took a break from frantic studying to log onto Facebook. Like usual, I got sucked into a never-ending trail of links as I navigated from page to page. I ended up looking at the profile of one of my friends from high school. I was surprised to see that both of his parents are also active on Facebook. Naturally, I had to snoop. I was looking at his dad's recent activities and noticed a link to a blog. "WHAT?!," I thought. Sure enough, this man had a blog that he had been writing since early this year. I read some posts and came to the conclusion that this was something I could do.

And now look at me! Breaking ground on my first post. So why did I name it "That Guy in a Sweater Vest?" Well I am glad you asked. Perhaps this amuses only me, but when I first came to St. Cloud State in the fall of 2009, I rarely wore anything but dress shirts with sweater vests over them. I was an undeclared theatre major and spent most of my days in the Performing Arts Center where all my classes were. Being a little shy, I didn't really make any attempts to socialize with the other theatre majors. However, it didn't take long before they started to notice my presence, and without any better way to refer to me in conversation, I became known as "that guy who wears sweater vests all the time," or "that guy in the sweater vest," or simply "sweater vest." It really caught on. Now I am not nearly as shy and I'm friends with everyone in the theatre department, but my nick-name remains the same. Even though I don't wear sweater vests nearly as often as I did then. Although when I do, it is sure to be noticed... Hehe.

So that's a little anecdote about my blog name. More importantly is the reason behind starting a blog in the first place. A few months ago, I started journaling regularly to help me cope with some dreadful seasonal depression. It really did wonders for me and my mood. So I figured that this may be just as therapeutic. I am contributing my thoughts and opinions to the giant swirling maelstrom of the internet. It's exciting! Even though I acknowledge that no one may ever choose to read this, it is still there and it is still me. And that feels good. I think that writing regularly will help me keep my head clear and my thoughts positive.

So there you have it. This is my blog and it's glorious. Don't you think so?

Cody M. Logeland