Chipotle Blimp

Hello. I am sitting here feeling very fortunate today. It's easy enough to say "hey everyone! My life sucks because I can hardly afford the rent and I get stressed out easily!" But then you have to remember that people are dying in third world countries and children are starving in Africa. That's right, people are dying, but I can go watch a free hockey game less than ten blocks from where I live. So it's hard to complain, really.

On another note, guess what I did today? I went to watch a free hockey game less than ten blocks from where I live. It was my first time watching a hockey event that wasn't at a high school or middle school level. So yeah, it was exciting.

Look. It was exciting.

I was very excited, but also very hungry. So I went out to the lobby area to buy a hot-dog. I put mustard on it.

Artist's rendition. Not actual hot dog.

It was wonderful. No sooner did I return to my seat, that I saw an amazing thing. It was a blimp. But not just any blimp. It was a Chipotle blimp. I immediately wanted Chipotle. Everyone started screaming at the blimp because it was dropping little cards. I could only assume that these little cards would give me access to some Chipotle. I screamed. But the blimp ignored me.

Fuck you, blimp.

As it slowly sailed by, ridiculing me with its big Chipotle sign, I started thinking about how bad the food at Chipotle is for your health. It may have just been my hatred for the blimp, but I started to pity the people who caught the falling cards. "These are the people who will be dying soon," I thought to myself. At this time, my friend handed me a mini donut. This was a wake-up call.

As I chewed the mini-donut, I started to reflect on what I had eaten the past few days... It all came rushing back. Just the day before, I had an entire bag of tortilla chips with salsa for dinner. With coke. Hmmmm. For lunch that day, I ate 7 lefse rolls that were drenched in butter.... Hmmmmmm.... For dinner the night before that, I ate half a loaf of amazing bread dipped in obscene amounts of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Amazing bread dipped in obscene amounts of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

At some point in there, I ordered two entire meals from Arbys and ate them both at once. And I almost forgot. Two days ago, I subjected myself to this...

This looks dangerous.

The "Captain's Catch" at Perkins. Your eyes do not deceive you. What you are looking at is a large plate covered with a layer of french fries. On top of that, is a stack of onion rings, a pile of jumbo shrimp, and two massive pieces of cod. Off to the side, surrounding three tubs of sauce and butter, are little fried things that I couldn't even identify. And yes, all of these things were fried.

I ate all of this. I didn't even hesitate. Not even this random salad can make me feel better about the ordeal.

Random.

So as I sat in the audience watching the SCSU Huskies destroy Michigan Tech, I started to really regret buying that last hot dog. I'm gonna really have to look into adjusting my eating habits.

All that aside, I had a fun time at the hockey game, my girlfriend is coming over soon, and I don't live in Africa. So life is good.

Yours,

Cody M. Logeland